February 25, 2024

JANUARY 15–In a monumentally moronic scheme, a woman admitted that she plotted to submit dog urine she had “collected” in an attempt to cheat a court-ordered drug screening, police report.

According to investigators, Jessica Beatty, 42, was subject to random testing as a stipulation of release terms related to her December 28 arrest for possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license.

Beatty, a Clearwater, Florida resident, has a lengthy rap sheep with numerous cocaine convictions and related incarceration terms.

Free on her own recognizance following last month’s arrest, Beatty had an appointment Thursday to pee in a cup at the county’s Misdemeanor Probation Unit. The test is designed to “detect the presence of chemical substances or controlled substances,” cops noted.

Beatty apparently was concerned that her urine would turn up dirty, with such a finding likely to result in a bond revocation and her immediate jailing.

So Beatty showed up with a “fraudulent urine sample,” according to a criminal complaint. A defendant’s provision of urine is visually monitored by a probation officer, making it difficult to hoodwink investigators.

When confronted about the phony sample, Beatty reportedly admitted that she “collected urine from her aunt’s dog,” which she “intended to provide during testing.”

The complaint does not indicate what kind of container Beatty used to house the fraudulent sample. Nor does it detail how the ex-con actually “collected” the canine waste (which drug tests can easily differentiate from the human equivalent).

Pictured above, Beatty was arrested at the probation office and charged with urine testing fraudulent practices, a misdemeanor. In light of the January 11 collar, a judge revoked the prior order freeing Beatty in the drug/driving case.

Beatty last year launched a cleaning service that she incorporated with her boyfriend, an ex-con whose rap sheet includes convictions for robbery; narcotics possession; disorderly conduct; obstructing police; and loitering and prowling. (1 page)