February 25, 2024

Happy January 6, everyone! (Just trying to get ahead of the curve.) If you’d like to join me tomorrow, I’ll be commemorating it by storming my local Walmart, trashing it, smearing the walls in feces, threatening to hang the assistant manager, then blaming Nancy Pelosi for providing lax Walmart security. We’ll go out for freedom fries afterwards, then sing J6 Prison Choir covers at karaoke.